Friday, December 2, 2011

Musings...

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Today we did things a little differently.  The boys woke up at 6am and we were doing our lessons by 7:30.  They are usually allowed to sleep in until about 8am because, at thirteen, I feel like they need as much rest as they can get. The trouble is that we're always so late getting started with our lessons, nearly 9:30.  That means that we are always barely finishing by 2pm or even later.  And since the girls are more active with their lessons at this stage, it can be really difficult to manage all four of them doing different things at the same time.  

With the shift in start times, our lessons went well today. I was able to spend time with the boys first, covering our English and grammar, science, and history.  By that point the girls were awake and ready to start their lessons while the boys went separately to finish the day with their math lessons.

All of this means earlier mornings for me, too, since I like to wake up much earlier than the kids for a little peace and quiet before the day begins.  I'm thinking that I'll be up by 4am most mornings, but it will be a good trade-off if things continue to go as well as they did today.  It was nice to be finished with the boys by 11:30 while having time to devote to the girls alone.

In our spare time during the day and at night while the television is playing some sort of Christmas movie, the girls and I have also spent some time making Christmas gift tags.  It has been a fun thing, spending time with fancy scissors and mod podge and twine.  Maybe I'll get some photos up this weekend.




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I'm still trying to recover from Thanksgiving last week, too.  For the last several days, most meals have included lightly sauteed greens of some kind and plain brown rice. Those two simple foods have been so delicious and satisfying, and hopefully cleansing as well.  This morning I added an egg to my rice and collards and was full all day, right up until dinner tonight.  Last night, however, was an utter fail.  Without getting into an enormous amount of detail, the whole summary involved a propane tank that was running on fumes due to my failure to pay attention to the gas level and a delivery driver not showing up until after dark.  All of that led to an order of pizza...and soda.  I suppose I could have managed without eating any, but I gave in and had some, knowing the whole time just how I'd feel afterward.    :-/

This morning I put myself back on track with my greens and rice and water and am still on track this evening, so I'm hoping that last night's dinner won't turn into an even bigger failure.  I also happened to read this blog post today and it pretty much sums up the past week for me.  I have done exactly the same things and feel exactly the same way about my actions.  It reminded me about eating for power and energy, both of which I'm going to need so much of over the next few weeks.  It reminded me just how bad it feels once that piece of pie is finished, once that ice cream cone has been eaten, and for me, once that piece of bread makes its painful journey through my digestive system.  It also made me realize that to feel well, I have to eat well.  I know this.  I've experienced it time and time again.  But still, there are times of utter weakness where I eat all the bad stuff anyway, even knowing how I'll feel.  It's crazy behavior, I tell you.  

Ultimately, I know where I stand right now and that is a major accomplishment for me.  I know I have choices to make to keep these thirty pounds permanently off while ridding myself of even more.

Tomorrow is another day - with choices to make.



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