{sandralundy}

Today

2012-02-07T09:09:00.000-06:00

Today:

is one of the few days we've had this winter where the sun is shining.
it's shining right through my window, across my hand as i'm typing. nice.
flickr is having a case of the hiccups, so i can't access my rainy photos to share here.
the morning is cool enough to grab a sweater which is better than needing only a tee shirt or tank top.
my morning began quietly and slowly since the kids spent the night at my parents' house. very nice.
the coffee i had this morning was so good. sometimes it just tastes better than other times, you know.
will be a relaxed school day, only the girls' lessons to deal with and the boys are out the door for guitar lessons.
i may begin my initial purge of surface clutter in the rooms of my house before i get into the more detailed purging outlined in this book.
i want to spend a solid chunk of time trying to finish this book, but most likely it'll have to wait until the evening hours.
laundry is high on the to-do list since i've barely done any at all for two days. what was i thinking?
i opened my blogger draft folder to find many posts drafted up, but never published. i need to work on those.
i need to finish my last roll of film. sadly it's been hanging out for several months, unfinished.
i'm feeling better and more energetic and clear-minded since getting back into my healthy eating habits. i've even lost a few pounds this week, putting me back at my lowest pre-holiday weight. so, from here on out, it's all down hill and i'm excited.
i've been listening to this piece of music....it's addictive and is on replay.

Being Nice

2012-02-06T07:54:00.001-06:00

Source: lylaandblu.com via Sandra on Pinterest

This morning I read something that made me think about how easy it is to break the confidence we have in ourselves, to break our spirits. It seems to be so easy to let even one little comment, email, or criticism take us down - all the way. It's true, and it happens to most of us at some point, and then to some of us all too often.

The commentary I read that started me thinking about this was from an incredibly talented wedding photographer whose style instantly grabbed my attention. He travels the world capturing breathtaking moments from spectacular weddings. I probably spent thirty minutes scrolling through his portfolio, feeling inspired and amazed by what he sees with his obviously beautiful heart. For me, it was the type of wedding photography that was real, raw, and truthful; the exact kind I'd be searching for should I ever need a wedding photographer.

Then I came across one long, lonesome, photo-less post, a rant of sorts, about an anonymous email he received that pretty much broke his spirit. He is accused of being an ego maniac and a branding scheme among other things. As I read on, I felt amazed by how truthful he was being in his admission of having a broken spirit, feeling utterly human, feeling discouraged by no genuine word of thanks from his clients - receiving only comments like: "I wish you'd have taken more of this pose, or more of that person, or more of the cake," feeling like he'll never be good enough, and sick and tired of turning the other cheek. The most memorable comment of his was this: I am "tired from constantly looking for that perfect balance of being what people expect, and being who I really am." (Can I get an Amen?)

I mean this is a guy who is at the top of his game professionally, and he was obviously and admittedly struggling with feeling like he was not good enough. And, I felt shocked that he could think such a thing...how could he honestly think that? He is what any of us, with camera in hand, strive to be - what any of us, in any profession, strive to be...apparently the best. Then I thought about other people who have made similar comments, the same people who seem to have it all together. I also let my thoughts drift back to myself and remember how I almost always feel less than. Always. I struggle daily, hourly even, and self-confidence is always lacking. I wonder why this plagues so many of us.

The contrast of countless positive comments from admirers and fellow photographers alike left on his blog to the one negative and anonymous comment from an obviously jealous person whose one objective was to be hurtful struck me. It is so easy for us, all of us, to let people and even those small people who can't step up and make anything other than anonymous comments, tear us down. Why do we give people that power? Regardless of what our profession is, a top-notch wedding photographer or a doctor or an auto mechanic or a stay at home, work at home mom, we're all susceptible to this destruction of spirit. We are all creative and artistic in one way or another. We all have a need for belonging, to have a place in our world where we feel loved and accepted and most importantly, respected.

The words he wrote, about constantly striving for balance between being what people expect and being who he truly is as being tiresome, is right. It can be utterly exhausting, to say the least. I think that has been, for me personally, the hardest lesson to learn in this life. Learning to let go of expectations in other people and more importantly letting go of the expectations that other people cast onto my own life. What makes us feel so bound to make other people happy, whether it's something relevant to our own selves or not? What makes us let a certain group of people force us into a category or let even one single, solitary person create an image for us to uphold without regard as to whether it honors what we, as our own person, believes? This happens all the time. Every day, in fact. In families, in work environments, in communities, etc. People are struggling to make their way in the world, to feel a sense of belonging, of connection, of importance, and respect. Some people also are foolishly determined to be disrespectful, selfish, jealous, and full of hate. Some people truly are that small-minded and small-hearted. That's just a fact that we all have to live with, like it or not.

We don't, however, have to receive these comments and general disrespect from those small people and let them tear us down or break our spirits. These people are most likely speaking out of their own hurt, their own aching regrets, their own uncontrolled jealousy, their own unhappy and unfulfilled lives. These are people who walk around all day behind fake smiles, waiting for us to turn our backs, so they can wreak their havoc on our emotions. These are the sad people who impose their misery on anyone who will stand still long enough. We all know one or fifty who can fit this category.

I recently read a quote that said something to the effect of: "As human beings, our most important job is to build one another up." This is certainly true. What if this could be the overwhelming norm? What if we spent our time building each other up, offering kind comments and gentle encouragement? What if we dropped our expectations of others and let them be who they really are? What if we stopped trying to impose our belief systems onto other people, weighing them down with heavy, heart-breaking presumptions? What if we finally realize that what may be right for ourselves may not, in fact, be right for another person? What if we, instead, made our encouragement of others a priority each day? What if we offered a smile and a "Good day," to the cashier who seems irritated by her job? What if we sat in traffic feeling thankful for the few moments of time to breathe and to think. What if we started to value our friends and treat them with full respect, rather than engage in idle gossip behind their backs and weave toxic webs of bitterness and lies that can never be mended? What if we made encouraging or kind comments to at least one other human being every day? What if we magnified this at home, offering praise and encouragement to our children and husbands and wives? I can imagine that our lives would improve dramatically, our families, our social groups, our friendships, our communities. I can only imagine how a chain reaction of this sort could spread happiness and confidence and improvement all over this world.

I suppose the basic thing I'm trying to say is we should all strive to be kind and to encourage one another - have respect for each other because we all serve a beautiful purpose here on this earth.

Source: ffffound.com via Sandra on Pinterest

Black Bean Lettuce Wraps

2012-02-03T15:51:00.000-06:00

This is a little recipe of sorts that I made last night and I thought I'd share it since it was so very delicious.

You'll need:

Romaine lettuce leaves - I used 4 medium-small
2-3 small tomatoes, sliced - I used Campari tomatoes...SO delicious and sweet!
Half an avocado, cut into pieces
Half a lemon, for squeezing
About 2 cups of cooked black beans, seasoned with salt, pepper, 1/2 tsp. cumin
2/3 c. corn kernels (canned & drained or frozen)
2 Tbsp. Salsa

First open a can of black beans or cook your own dry beans (which is what I did)
Add a pinch of salt and pepper
Add 1/2 tsp cumin, or more to taste
Simmer just a bit to blend the flavors, or if you use dry beans, simmer 2 hours or until tender
Add in corn kernels (canned or frozen) and just heat through

While the beans are doing their thing, you can put together the lettuce leaves.

Wash the leaves and dry with paper towel
Slice tomatoes - I placed about three slices per leaf
Cut up avocado and divide evenly between the leaves
Squeeze the half lemon over the prepared leaves

Once the leaves are prepared, spoon your beans into a bowl and top with a couple of tablespoons of salsa. Add the warm beans to the cold lettuce wraps as you eat.
This is really, really delicious and filling and most importantly, healthy. Yum!

Health

2012-02-02T07:29:00.001-06:00

My word for 2012 is Health. {February ~~1st~~ 2nd is a good day to publish a post about a topic that I began on January 1st, right?}

Seriously though, I'm not just talking about the lose fifty pounds kind of health, but the all-encompassing health that includes every facet of life. The kind of health that improves me physically, mentally, and spiritually. Sure, continuing to lose weight is still high on my list as I'd love to see the thirty pounds I lost before the Christmas holidays begin to increase. Thankfully I'm back on track with my healthy eating habits. I'd also love to include a more habitual exercise routine as well. {The exercise routine will have to be something very low impact because of an ongoing foot problem that has lasted for the majority of the last year. After many cortisone shots in the heel to no avail, the custom fit orthotic insoles I recently ordered from my podiatrist are holding much promise.} I'm thinking along the lines of resistance training as my main method of exercise for now and I can't wait until I can pick up the pace with my iPod and a pair of walking shoes!

Another part of health that I've begun to work on this year is replacing the large majority of my store-bought personal products with homemade versions. I've already made the switch to homemade lotion, winter hand balm, hand soap, deodorant, and exfoliating scrubs and I love each of them. The lotion and balm has been perfect, the deodorant was easy to make and surprisingly effective (even more than Tom's of Maine) so far, the hand soap was a no-brainer, and the sugar scrub, of course, is a real treat. Next up is bar soap and putting together a facial cleanser blend using the oil-cleansing method. I still have to do some research on shampoo and other hair products since I'm not sure how to make an effective product for my big, sometimes unruly, curly locks. I also want to work on blending essential oils to add aromatherapy benefits to my products.

Another important thing to me this year is cleaning out mental clutter by eliminating much of its cause: household clutter. I seem to be able to fill bags and boxes all year with things to throw away or to give away, there's always something in the back of the van ready for drop off. I'm not a big fan of buying stuff and I honestly only like the bare minimum and try to buy only what I need. It's just that what we need with our homeschooling lifestyle can cause massive amounts of surface clutter. It just seems to be impossible for me to get a hold on the items that are in my house. Clutter, scatter, and surface messes are all over and I can't seem keep control of them. I really want control over this issue so I picked up Peter Walsh's book It's All Too Much to hopefully give me tips on how to actually organize the stuff I do have in my house into a working system that I'll be able to keep up with.

Financial clutter is another area I'm committed to improving this year. We were ~~surprised~~ blessed with a head start of sorts this year and I intend on making wise use of those resources. Dave Ramsey has the most appealing solution that I've read about and I can really see how his suggestions can work - and quickly. I'm excited to see the decrease that will happen this year.

Spirituality is a very important part of health and has always been important to me and for a long while now I've been reading Donald Miller's Blog. I always appreciate what he has to say and I find lots of inspiration in his viewpoints and also the basic questions that he asks, all while exploring their answers. I wanted to start this year with reading one of his books, so I went to the library to pick up Blue Like Jazz, but it was checked out, so I picked up his second book, Searching for God Knows What. I'm a hundred pages or so into it and am so glad I decided to read it. He touches on things near and dear to my heart and many things that I believe down into the core of myself to be true. I don't usually talk about my spiritual beliefs and such, but this year I do want to explore my own heart and soul more, becoming more of the person I really am, if that makes sense.

So, all in all, I've expanded Health to its limits and I hope to see improvements as I go through the year. My success is, of course, all up to me and how committed I really am to achieving my goals. I finally feel, as I was saying to a friend recently, that I am in control of myself and happy with myself and the wisdom that comes with this stage of life. It's like all the pieces of me are finally fitting together, becoming whole. And, that's a good thing.

Happy February!

A Post About Hair...

2012-01-29T13:59:00.000-06:00

Lately, the girls and I have been into trying new things with our hair. This past week I've braided my girls hair into about 12 sections after their nightly shower and they've kept them in to dry overnight. When they wake the next morning, we slide all the braids loose to find their hair full of little waves. They love being able to get a little curl to their hair. Their intentions are to let their hair grow back out so that they can do the sock bun curls that I've found easy to do to mine.

I left a link above that I found which includes many photos of the sock bun process and two short instructional videos also. However, the video below is the original one I viewed and I followed her advice and I really love the results.

I tried taking a couple of shots in the bathroom this morning to at least give an idea of the results I achieved. My bathroom is an icky-to-photograph-yellow and my hair is so dark, it's hard to get the details to show through, but this gives a little idea of how the curls turned out. It was super simple to put into the bun and I pulled the bun out as soon as I woke up and the curls were perfect.

They've held up perfectly all day long today as well. I'd definitely say that if you'd like to add some soft curl to your long hair, this is a great way to do it. My hair is naturally curly anyway, but this method gives a softer curl than I normally have and requires no hair products to achieve. This was washed, blown dry most of the way, and then put into the sock bun. Nothing else. I let it out this morning, ran my fingers through a few times and that was it. Done. Easy peasy!

Now I'm off to search Pinterest for even more hair ideas to pin to my simply : beauty board.

Randoms

2012-01-19T16:48:00.000-06:00

A random post for many random thoughts lately
Days have been full and busy - my mind as well
So much to do, so many thoughts to organize lately
Hubby's temporarily rearranged work schedule always interrupts my normal groove
I'm working toward getting back into my better eating habits. {read: leave the sugar alone!!}
My house needs some serious de-cluttering before I lose my mind
I need some serious time to myself and am feeling totally burned out lately
The laundry stays piled, dust is collecting, the floors need mopping...
And, I honestly, at this point, don't even care. Burned out. The end.
And, how ironic is that? Especially with the photo I have above of my newest book One Thousand Gifts and my journal that I'm using to fill in all the gifts I see everyday.
Some days are like this though...
Just a temporary need for a little quiet time, a little time spent off-duty to recharge my mom-battery, that's all.
I'm still seeing the blessings, writing them down, taking notice of the details...
The days have been quite beautiful lately, many spring-like. It's been a mild winter so far and I'm feeling okay with that.
Music has been playing much of the time - I love Pandora radio.
Watching movies has slipped into the top spot for things I love to spend time doing lately. Romantic comedies have fit the bill.
I took a few self portraits the other day...almost posted one, but didn't.
My film camera has been neglected these past several months.
I've finally taken time to discover Tumblr. I really like it now that I've given it a chance. It's mostly a collection of images that speak to me and maybe some quotes, but basically a place that looks the way my heart feels. It's nice.
I'm looking forward to tomorrow's Mom's Night Out with a few friends that I haven't seen in a long time. A dinner out and some conversation with a few people that share my heart is a good thing.

This Year, No Resolutions...

2012-01-07T09:14:00.000-06:00

Source: hercrossroads.tumblr.com via Sandra on Pinterest

A new year.

That usually brings about lots of new resolutions and new ideas to beat ourselves up over when they begin shift in importance. This year, I don't want to make resolutions. This year I feel like I'm finally at the stage of life where the value of wisdom and contentment has fully revealed itself as being so much more important than naming resolutions, making stress-inducing bucket lists, and worrying about being anywhere other than in this very immediate, present moment that I've been given.

Believe me, I've made lists about visiting Italy, losing a million pounds, running a thousand miles, traveling to the places of my dreams, starting businesses, going back to school, finding retreats for my tired mind, etc. When I look back on those lists I made, which were so popularly traveling around the internet and still are, they were full of dreams written out in ink on paper, nearly tangible, but yet they felt so very incomplete. I believe it is because the things on that list focused on all the wild, near-impossibilities and all the things that would take me away from the present moment that I have so graciously been given. I have begun to feel that the most important things to focus on, not only this new year, but every day of the year, are the moments that make up every one of my days. Instead of putting a trip to Italy high on my list of "things to do before...," maybe I'd be happier if I focused on things like: go on a date with my husband, take the kids to a movie, have a manicure party with the girls, listen to the boys' stories about hunting and football, and enjoy those fleeting moments of togetherness that change so often over the course of childhood before they are gone.

I know that not every moment of motherhood is perfect and wonderful. I know that most definitely. There are absolutely moments that make me want to scream and pull my hair out and basically run away to a place of solitude where I can clear my head for just a few hours (or days, depending on the craziness of the situation). And, if I'm being honest right here, right now, I'm in the middle of one of my cravings for a few days of solitude, sadly with no end in sight. I do know that this will pass and I'll forget all about it and wonder what had me in such an uncomfortable mood. There are absolutely moments that try me and make me wonder what is going on and make me wonder about some decisions I've made along the way. Things are not perfect, nor will they ever be. However, focusing on the good things in life and giving no more attention to the negative things than absolutely necessary is the only way I've found to shorten the duration of the effect they have on my everyday moments.

This very moment in my life and how I feel in it is so important. It is the building block for all the other moments (and moods) to come. It is important to say what needs to be said about these very real, negative feelings, then give them wings to fly away and be replaced by an attitude of gratitude for what I do have and for all the things that matter so much more than my momentary bad mood.

By living in this very moment and finding contentment and gratitude in the dailiness I'm blessed to have, all those other wishes on my list have honestly lost their immediate luster. This is not to say that I no longer would love to tour Europe or see the beaches of Fiji or build a cabin deep in the mountains of the Northwest, but rather, I think it means that my priorities and streams of thought are lined up just the way they should be because without this present moment and being grateful for the life I have now, none of the other stuff will ever really matter and will surely end up being empty endeavors while my heart finds itself void of all the beautiful things it unknowingly overlooked as mundane, daily routine while it searched for "the meaning of life."

I don't want to wake up one day when the kids are all grown and in the middle of creating their own lives and realize that I allowed my mind to spend too much time in fantasy land and not nearly enough time absorbing the enormous amount of love contained in every moment of my days, right now. I want to be here. I want these moments to top my bucket list, to round out my "to do" list, and be the things I look back upon as my most treasured possessions.

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I wrote this post about a week ago and this morning as I took time to actually sit down and publish it, I also ran across this video about The Gift of an Ordinary Day by Katrina Kenison. It blew me away. It is so spot-on with what I was trying to express in this post. If you have a moment, listen. You won't regret it.

January 1, 2012

2012-01-06T18:45:00.000-06:00

The first day of 2012 was spent taking it easy, as was the rest of the first week it seems. :)

Things have moved along slowly with all of us enjoying the slower pace of no school work just yet and having Daddy home every day this week.

Late, during the first afternoon of the year, we decided to drive down to the beach to watch the sunset and to take in the approaching cold front as it passed through. The afternoon was perfect for beach walking and treasure hunting with Ethan's new metal detector.

I, of course, played around with the cameras, watching the sunset. The air changed quickly from very wet and humid to very dry with a north wind blowing in and making our walk back to the car quite chilly.

Night approached quickly and the kids all had flashlights to play around with on our way back in. We even stopped for a bit to let them play in the playground with their flashlights before we began heading home.

If the first day of 2012 is any indication of the rest of the year to come, things should go along smoothly and simply, filled with beautiful moments.

2011 : In Review

2012-01-02T13:39:00.000-06:00

January:

A month of renewal, of cleansing, of eating better, of making plans for the coming year...

February:

The garden was put in and an early spring arrived, lifting the usual February blues.

March:

Antique shopping with my mom and playing with my film camera filled the moments of these beautiful spring days.

April:

Dailiness and focusing on gratitude....I found true joy in the simple things.

May:

I took an online Creativity Bootcamp course and enjoyed every second of the new-found creative sparks. We took day trips with the kids enjoying every moment of the final cool days of spring. And, the first picking from the spring garden is always one of the highlights of this time of year.

June:

This was evidently the month of nearly no photo taking. I never even posted to Flickr during the month of June! {This was a real down-season for me personally} Only about 10 shots for the month, most of which were taken at the local estuarium. This little shot of some garden goodies was the only other.

July:

Birthday boys...thirteen years and a trip to the naval air station museum, not to mention the beginnings of basketball. Fun times all around.

August:

One of the most awesome vacations we've had the pleasure to take and it was basically at our back door. Gulf Shores was amazingly beautiful and peaceful from our vantage point.

September:

Simple days leading into the much-anticipated cooler weather of autumn.

October:

The month of goldenrods, beautiful changing light and Halloween.

November:

I really rediscovered my camera this month and took photos every day. This month I found so much contentment and thankfulness for even the smallest details of my life.

Books filled the spare moments and a new bird found a home here with Isaac.

December:

Handmade gifts, gingerbread houses and gingerbread men, parades and Christmas lights.....

Waiting for Santa, wrapping paper scattered around, stockings stuffed...

Sending wishes for a Merry Christmas to our family and friends....

More December Days

2011-12-22T15:38:00.000-06:00

December 17: more tag making

December 18: making hand balm for gifts

December 19: Hand balm and sugar scrub, packed and ready to give away.

December 20: My husband made peanut brittle...so yummy!

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These days are slipping by so quickly and there are still so many more things I want to do. Tomorrow, making gingerbread is topping the list, along with making these cute little hot chocolate stirrers to have for Christmas Eve.

Source: adventuresinsavings.com via Sandra on Pinterest

I'm thinking this chocolate cake is going to make the menu this year, as well. It's said to be the best and with that cup of coffee added to the batter, I can imagine it is delicious!

Source: justapinch.com via Sandra on Pinterest

These lemon bars are definitely on the menu...I can't wait to get these made and have one with my afternoon coffee. Yum!

Source: bakingbites.com via Sandra on Pinterest

And, isn't this the most elegant idea for using mason jars, greenery, cranberries, and floating candles? So pretty.

Source: theoldpostroadblog.blogspot.com via Sandra on Pinterest

The last three days

2011-12-17T08:54:00.002-06:00

In keeping up with my December shots, here are the last few days, busily blurring by....

December 14:

December essentials: four sets of eager-to-help hands, scissors, tape, calendar, lists, ribbon, gift tags, wrapping paper, and most importantly, joy.

December 15:

The annual gingerbread house...finished! It's cute, too. :)

December 16:

Bowling! We had a blast playing a couple of games, eating pizza for lunch along with some fries and cookies. It was definitely a great way to let go of the stress that can come along with the season.

13 December

2011-12-13T23:46:00.000-06:00

I had a day out for some Christmas shopping with my girls. They grabbed the point and shoot from my purse and made me smile....I made them do the same. ;)

We were able to get most things done and they were able to shop for their brothers along with adding a few more items to their own lists...of course. It was a good day, and I always look forward to my individual shopping days with both the girls and the boys each year. We take our time, have lunch, and pick out gifts for family, this year was no different. I love all the memories we make and the traditions we carry on every year.

12 December

2011-12-12T19:21:00.000-06:00

I love finding little love notes left from one sister to another. It makes my day. :)

Todays highlights:

school work
school work
and more school work
oh, and laundry too.

On tomorrow's agenda...shopping and orthodontist. Again.

I was really happy to be featured on the These Moments blog. Click on over and see all the beautiful, daily moments collected there.

11 December

2011-12-11T23:54:00.000-06:00

spontaneous meet-up with family and friends for pizza
a surprise football signed by none other than Nick Saban!
the kids were just a wee bit excited
lots of delicious pizza and appetizers
lots of laughing
and talking
and enjoying
it was a great evening.

**The photos were hard to come by in this place...so dimly lit and such strange glowing colors from the lamps...everything was heavily cast in a red-orange glow. Thank goodness for editing software in instances like this, and still the colors are weird, LOL!**

10 December

2011-12-10T23:21:00.000-06:00

making time to read this new book....it's so hard to put down.
a few moments of photo editing
gift wrapping
new boots for the girls
another Christmas parade to ride in
beads to throw
moon pies to snack on
sunshine and cold breezes
a Christmas dinner party with the neighbors who will be out of town for the holidays
a super-fun Christmas game involving dice and a gift wrapped about 10 times and covered almost impenetrably with many different kinds of tape.
glistening Christmas lights
Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer
a quiet house
finally falling into bed tired after a really good day.

Catching up...

2011-12-09T14:40:00.001-06:00

I can't believe it has been a week since I last posted! Time really does fly. It makes me wonder how I was able to keep up with daily posting every day in November. Then again, this has been a busy week with something going on every day. So, in an attempt to catch up with my December posting...

December 3:

Parade time! The kids were able to ride a float in a local Christmas parade. The floats were all lit up, music filling the air, and so many happy faces to see along the route. The kids had a blast throwing all those goodies.

December 4:

We saw this beautiful nativity scene during our drive around the neighborhood.

December 5:

I did a little sparrow watching outside my mom's kitchen windows. They are the cutest little birds.

December 6:

More Christmas lights. I love the solid white lights. It would be perfectly fine with me if everyone would just leave them up all winter.

December 7:

For real. This is the state of my house right now. I'm working on it...

December 8:

Making gift tags...just beyond the sea of clutter in the previous photo. Yep.

December 9:

Salt dough ornaments are quick and easy. The girls loved making these.

That's all I have in photos. Not seen were the school lessons, the grocery/Christmas shopping, the weekly guitar lessons and library run, the several hours I spent this week making photo books (I'll share the results as soon as they arrive in the mail), my boys' new smiles...they had braces put on Wednesday afternoon! I do have photos, but they're a little touchy with the pictures-of-braces-on-the-blog thing, so I'll have to sneak them in soon. They did great with the braces, though. Very little pain and irritation, so we're happy. Also, not seen was my appointment at the podiatrist yesterday and the second round of a cortisone shot to my heel to hopefully begin easing the pain that I've been struggling with daily. I sure hope this shot works...ouch. Then, today along with painting ornaments, we took time to hang some outdoor Christmas lights down the driveway, away from Cooper, our yellow lab, since he has an appetite for just about anything {read: crazy dog}. We have no outdoor decorations on the house or in the yard, but the driveway is sure to look great!

So, that sums it up, these last seven days whirring by in a quick blur. I'm ~~hoping~~ planning to slow down for the rest of this season and try to savor the moments as they come and go. For the rest of today, however, I need to put it in gear and clear the clutter lurking on every surface. An orderly house will be just the thing to help me slow down and enjoy.

Have a nice weekend!

Musings...

2011-12-02T20:32:00.001-06:00

Today we did things a little differently. The boys woke up at 6am and we were doing our lessons by 7:30. They are usually allowed to sleep in until about 8am because, at thirteen, I feel like they need as much rest as they can get. The trouble is that we're always so late getting started with our lessons, nearly 9:30. That means that we are always barely finishing by 2pm or even later. And since the girls are more active with their lessons at this stage, it can be really difficult to manage all four of them doing different things at the same time.

With the shift in start times, our lessons went well today. I was able to spend time with the boys first, covering our English and grammar, science, and history. By that point the girls were awake and ready to start their lessons while the boys went separately to finish the day with their math lessons.

All of this means earlier mornings for me, too, since I like to wake up much earlier than the kids for a little peace and quiet before the day begins. I'm thinking that I'll be up by 4am most mornings, but it will be a good trade-off if things continue to go as well as they did today. It was nice to be finished with the boys by 11:30 while having time to devote to the girls alone.

In our spare time during the day and at night while the television is playing some sort of Christmas movie, the girls and I have also spent some time making Christmas gift tags. It has been a fun thing, spending time with fancy scissors and mod podge and twine. Maybe I'll get some photos up this weekend.

I'm still trying to recover from Thanksgiving last week, too. For the last several days, most meals have included lightly sauteed greens of some kind and plain brown rice. Those two simple foods have been so delicious and satisfying, and hopefully cleansing as well. This morning I added an egg to my rice and collards and was full all day, right up until dinner tonight. Last night, however, was an utter fail. Without getting into an enormous amount of detail, the whole summary involved a propane tank that was running on fumes due to my failure to pay attention to the gas level and a delivery driver not showing up until after dark. All of that led to an order of pizza...and soda. I suppose I could have managed without eating any, but I gave in and had some, knowing the whole time just how I'd feel afterward. :-/

This morning I put myself back on track with my greens and rice and water and am still on track this evening, so I'm hoping that last night's dinner won't turn into an even bigger failure. I also happened to read this blog post today and it pretty much sums up the past week for me. I have done exactly the same things and feel exactly the same way about my actions. It reminded me about eating for power and energy, both of which I'm going to need so much of over the next few weeks. It reminded me just how bad it feels once that piece of pie is finished, once that ice cream cone has been eaten, and for me, once that piece of bread makes its painful journey through my digestive system. It also made me realize that to feel well, I have to eat well. I know this. I've experienced it time and time again. But still, there are times of utter weakness where I eat all the bad stuff anyway, even knowing how I'll feel. It's crazy behavior, I tell you.

Ultimately, I know where I stand right now and that is a major accomplishment for me. I know I have choices to make to keep these thirty pounds permanently off while ridding myself of even more.

Tomorrow is another day - with choices to make.

Homemade Lotion

2011-12-01T06:37:00.001-06:00

Now that I'm finished with my month of Habit and gratitude I wanted to tell you about homemade lotion. Yes. I finally made my own. I've had this on my to-do list for a long time and have never taken the time to gather the ingredients and just do it. The simplicity of this recipe from Amanda at The Habit of Being made me dive right in.

I ordered my beeswax since I couldn't find a local supplier. I bought the one pound bar of beeswax and I'm sure it will last for years. I always have a good supply of both olive oil and coconut oil around here and even some favorite essential oils. I chose to mix the oils, about one-fourth cup of coconut oil and one-half cup of extra virgin olive oil because I wanted it to be a medium weight lotion. I also added several drops of orange essential oil and it smells divine.

I hope this natural lotion will help with my insanely dry skin. My skin has become so much drier over the past year or so and nothing, no matter how much I pay for expensive brand lotions and creams, ever works. I've been using it for only the past few days and I like the results so far. The most important thing to me is knowing what is in the lotion. There is no long string of mystery ingredients to worry about and I don't mind that my kids slather it on whenever they please. I'm also hoping that this will help to soothe Isaac's eczema. I think I'll make another jar just for him with tea tree essential oil for the added benefit of its antibacterial properties.

I do wonder about one thing though....would light olive oil work as well? My main concern is if it would be sticky, because extra virgin is absolutely not sticky. I was thinking too, this could be a wonderful homemade gift idea for the holidays. I'm considering pairing it with a recipe for sugar scrub and giving it to all the ladies on my list. I would love a gift like that!

***

On another note, can you believe it's December first already? Yesterday I went out to do my Christmas shopping and thankfully I'm about 95% finished! I had a list, a plan to keep things simple, and I reminded myself to keep focused. I'll have one more trip to make to finish up just a few things that I couldn't find the energy for late yesterday and I should be done. That is such a huge relief.

One thing I'm looking forward to today is beginning an Advent storybook, Jotham's Journey. We read this one a couple of years ago and the way the story unfolds is just beautiful. The kind of beautiful that sends little shivers down your spine as you read each day, getting closer to Christmas.

Have a beautiful first day of December. xo

Gratitude : 30

2011-11-30T19:57:00.001-06:00

November 30:

November has been beautiful this year, I have fully enjoyed it. But, to celebrate the start of December we went out for a drive after dinner to see the neighborhood Christmas lights (already!).

Thank you for a beautifully inspiring month, Habit.

********

This month's gratitude posts wouldn't be complete without expressing my thankfulness for my family. Those five people in the photo above mean everything to me. They complete me, my soul, my heart, my life.
I am ever so grateful that I was blessed with each one of them.

Gratitude : 29

2011-11-29T17:44:00.001-06:00

November 29:

Things crossed off today's list: bill paying, internet shopping, list making, and eating the last piece of pumpkin pie.

also here.

...........
On a side note, I'm so glad that pie is finally gone. It's just too tempting to have in the house {it is my favorite} and has completely shaken up my health-food-only way of eating in recent months. Tomorrow is a new day. It makes me thankful that all the Thanksgiving food is now in the past.

Gratitude : 28 and Last week in details

2011-11-28T17:44:00.000-06:00

November 28:

I was feeling certain today would be totally unproductive, but I'm thankful that it turned out to be the complete opposite.

******************************************************

Last week in details:

We intended on doing our school work for a couple of days this week, but....
On Monday I had a house full of little ones, my four plus three more (two cousins and a neighbor) made for lots of running and laughing and playing.
That made me decide that sometimes the most important thing for kids to do is to just be kids...doing all the things that they do best.
Tuesday was filled with the usual guitar lessons and the first appointment for the boys as they get braces. Spacers were put in and a little discomfort was had. Taco soup was on the menu that day.
Wednesday was filled with prepping some Thanksgiving day dishes here and also with going to my Mom's house so we could help her with her preparations for the big family Thanksgiving gathering there.

I loved seeing the kids dive in and help her with making their own pie crusts, pie fillings, and toppings.
I loved watching her in the kitchen with them, letting them basically have free rein over it all, the chopping of veggies, the putting together of the recipes, the rolling of the dough, the fillings, the meringue toppings, and even the clean up, which Claire especially likes. She loves to pull her stool up to the sink and do the washing.
Pine straw was raked and put around the house. Everything looks so good when fresh straw is in place.
Finally, I was back in my kitchen doing more prep work and making pumpkin pies. One regular pumpkin pie and one sweetened with agave. It was delicious!
Thanksgiving day started early with the turkey being first in the oven. Dressing and apple pies were next in line.
We went to my parents' house to have our official Thanksgiving day dinner although I made our own dinner to have here at our house, too.
There were lots of family and friends gathered, some who live out of state (and I wish they lived next door), some who are friends that feel more like family, and of course, those that are near and dear every day of the year. It really was such a blessed day...we are so fortunate.
The day extended into night and all things were finally cleaned up. I think that is an important part of the whole celebratory process...the coming together to clean up and put things away. It is just as important as the coming together to prepare and share the meal.

The day after Thanksgiving was a good one, too. We had a cousin stay the night of Thanksgiving and was here with us to begin our Christmas decorating.
The tree was put up, lights were strung, cinnamon ornaments smelled delicious, holiday music was played, and plenty of leftovers were eaten. Oh, and pie, too.
Friday night our cousin stayed again with requests to stay even another night. I said that he definitely could. ♥
Saturday was warm...too warm, really. It felt like early September rather than late November. The kids played football half the day anyway, while looking forward to the cool front to make its way through that night, hopefully bringing much cooler weather with it for the start of next week.
Sunday was filled with more playing children, running here and there while I baked them chocolate chip cookies.
The little cousin finally made his way back home. They were all a little sad to see the long weekend come to an end although they were all completely worn out from all the playing.
The night ended peacefully and just a bit early, just the way I wanted.

Gratitude : 27

2011-11-27T17:48:00.001-06:00

They played and laughed for four days straight, when it was over we were all looking for solitude.

.......

Everything seemed to drop, especially the energy level. We all pulled back into our quiet spots for just a bit before continuing on with the evening. That tired-down-to-the-bone feeling seems to be creeping in. I think an early bedtime sounds like the perfect cure-all.

Tonight I am so very grateful for peace.and.quiet.

Gratitude : 26

2011-11-26T16:21:00.001-06:00

November 26:

All the doing and the going and the cooking and the cleaning and the keeping up with kids and the decorating and the noise is finally catching up with me. I'm sure that tonight I'm going to enjoy the downtime I'm determined to take. I'm grateful for the moments of peace I can get when my husband is home.

***

also here.

Gratitude : 25

2011-11-25T18:13:00.001-06:00

November 25:

It has begun...the cinnamon ornaments, the twinkle lights, the holiday music, the smell of Fraser fir,
and the excitement of happy kids.

*****

also here.

Gratitude : 24

2011-11-24T23:13:00.001-06:00

On this day of thanks I have so much to be grateful for. Like watching all four kids get their hands into the process of making dinner, watching my mom pass on such beautiful traditions and memories to my children, the same as she did with me.

Favorite parts of the day were the early morning apple pie making with Emma, the smell of baked turkey and cornbread dressing, the large but intimate gathering of family and friends, a beautiful blessing before we ate, a plentiful bounty of food so that not one person was hungry, sweet treats of nearly every kind, long conversations and little jokes, games and laughter. So much goodness.

Before the blessing was said, we were reminded of this Thanksgiving prayer that really puts things into perspective:

Oh, Heavenly Father, We thank Thee for food and remember the hungry.
We thank Thee for health and remember the sick.
We thank Thee for freedom and remember the enslaved.
May these remembrances stir us to service, That Thy gifts to us may be used for others.
Amen

from Dear Abby

Happy Thanksgiving!

Gratitude : 23

2011-11-23T10:55:00.001-06:00

November 23:

Today Gratitude fills the air. Christmas music on the radio, little ones helping to chop veggies for tomorrow's meal, the house smells like sauteed onions, celery, and bell pepper, the oven is warm with crispy cornbread inside, the turkey is finishing its thaw, cranberries are waiting to be made into sauce, turnips are waiting to be cleaned, and pies are being planned.

Along with all of this, of course, is the messy kitchen, the onion peelings on the floor, cornbread crumbs that will find their way into the dog's mouth, little sticky fingers sampling all the sweet treats, the piles of stuff scattered on the table, the occasional feeling of not being able to do it all. But, one thing is for sure, I wouldn't change a single thing. All these things add up to the most perfect and blessed attitude of gratitude. My heart runneth over.

Gratitude : 22

2011-11-22T18:50:00.001-06:00

November 22:

A long hectic day is done. Peace, quiet, and a few inspiring words are the gifts this evening has to offer.

***
also here.

Gratitude : 21

2011-11-21T17:50:00.001-06:00

November 21:

In the kitchen making dinner, washing the day's dishes, my mind already making tomorrow's plans and putting a few on paper; then I caught my reflection in the early-dark windows & was reminded to stop and take a breath. I'm so thankful for mindfulness returning me to the present moment.

Last week in details

2011-11-21T13:15:00.000-06:00

To start the week off I had to make a quick appointment with my dentist to have a painful tooth checked. The tooth was cracked and the only treatment that might work is a $900 crown. Oy...I'm thinking extraction may be the better route.
We took a trip to the library to pick up some books for me and some for the kids. Isaac is super interested in all things animal/zoo/wildlife right now, so we chose a good selection to get him started.
I read Lift by Kelly Corrigan on Tuesday afternoon...it was beautiful.
I bought myself a new pair of shoes. Grey and pink. They're happy shoes.
We had our usual guitar lessons on Tuesday, the instructor only had praise for the boys. They're doing so well.
The girls had a yearly checkup on Wednesday. Claire was due for her immunizations and she was a little nervous. When she stepped up to the eye chart, her little mind went blank and she couldn't remember her alphabet. (All she could do was whisper to me that she was nervous and she was scared that she had forgotten.) She did the symbol chart instead. Poor thing.
She was a trooper with her shots though. She did so well. (That's the part where this mama was nervous.) All was made well with a treat from the doctor's treasure chest and lunch out together.
We had breakfast for dinner on Wednesday night and it was delicious. I forget how easy that meal is in the evening.
I began reading This Beautiful Life on Wednesday evening and finished it Saturday. It was a quick read, not really something that I normally pick, but a very interesting story nonetheless.
The girls put on a dance party for us in the living room on Thursday night.
The knitting needles and yarn were finally brought out and I began practicing a little before I formally begin a project.
Bread was baked.
An apple pie was made (and ice cream was scooped on top)

Photos were framed and hung.
We spent time visiting my parents-in-law, relaxing on their deck while the kids played.
The boys got another haircut
We went bird shopping and then made a date to see more birds. Isaac wants a cockatiel for Christmas, so we're looking. :)

Cancel that last entry....we bought the bird on Sunday afternoon. And he is a handsome little guy. Early Christmas presents are great, right? :)
The girls spent some time with their cousins and they all stayed the night at my parents' on Sunday.
While they were away, I began another book, This Life is in Your Hands. I think this one will be pretty deep, reaching into places I'm not sure I want to go, but the whole story really caught my attention and I can't help but read it.

As for a name for our new feathered friend....Isaac was initially thinking Rio,but also mentioned Leo (which I think is adorable) and also Tiki and Zazu. I think he's really liking Zazu right now, but he's still in the deciding mode it seems. We'll have to wait and see. :)

Gratitude : 20

2011-11-20T17:56:00.001-06:00

November 20:

Some days are full of surprises and this one is definitely a day like that, but in the best kind of way.

Think of feathers and cages and seeds and little chirps. Yes. One of us got a Christmas wish just a bit early. :) (Pictures to come soon.)

Gratitude : 19

2011-11-19T17:16:00.001-06:00

November 19:

There are days days when I question myself, but then there are days like today when I know I've made the perfect choice. I couldn't be happier to be a stay at home mom, homeschooling my kids, and enjoying them every minute of every day. I'm so grateful for being able to be here with them.

****
also here.

Gratitude : 18

2011-11-18T19:39:00.001-06:00

November 18:

The quiet moments in the early morning make the day ahead so much better. I'm thankful for each of those mornings and especially the ones that I get to share with my husband before he leaves for work.

*********

I couldn't stop at just one shot. I was sitting across the table from my husband this morning, we were talking quietly to ourselves so that we wouldn't wake the kids who decided to camp out in the living room floor last night.

I was sitting there, watching the steam swirl up and out of the coffee cups and reached for my camera. Simple things like this really are so beautiful. We miss so many of these kinds of things in our daily rush.

These are the moments I like stop, take a breath, and notice completely what is going on around me. This morning we heard our own quiet chatter, the heavy, sleeping breaths of four happy kids, the dog stretching in his crate, the sipping of hot coffee. We saw the sun shining brilliantly through the east-facing windows, we felt the coolness of the house after a long autumn night, we eventually reached for the heater, we made plans for the day, we made breakfast, our day was off to a beautiful start.

And, as starting off on the right foot would have it, our day ended as well as it began. A full day of family, of love, of togetherness. For these things, I am most grateful.

Gratitude : 17

2011-11-17T16:23:00.001-06:00

November 17:

Beautiful gifts from ~~an online~~ a friend. It's incredible how touching and real this online community can be.

Gratitude : 16

2011-11-16T16:55:00.001-06:00

She was nervous, I was wishing I could take her place, but it all ended well. And, she got an awesome prize from the treasure chest.

November 16:

I'm so thankful for healthy children, for brave little souls, for being able to take them to the doctor I trust, for little treasure chests that make all the boo boos better.

Gratitude : 15

2011-11-15T17:19:00.001-06:00

November 15:

Dentist. Shoes. Health Hut. Library. Guitar lessons. Pet store. An easy dinner. I'm thankful for a few new books to relax with tonight.

Gratitude : 14

2011-11-14T17:16:00.000-06:00

November 14 :

Some days it feels like I'm just going through the motions. Today is one of those days. I'm thankful for knowing the ebb and flow of my moods and staying in control.

Last Week in Details

2011-11-14T07:00:00.001-06:00

The girls danced in dark bedrooms while the boys helped with the lighting...a colander and a flashlight.
Bibles were read and heartfelt questions were being asked by my boys.
Old hurts (from two past miscarriages) have resurfaced and the losses feel like they're hitting even harder than they did originally. I wish I would have allowed myself to express more of my feelings at the time, many years ago, when all I wanted to do was be strong.
My heart has felt full to overflowing lately, spilling tears when I least expect it.
New science and history books were ordered.
Photos were taken, in the soul first, then on camera.
Christmas music in the style of Andrea Bocelli has begun playing on my Pandora station. Yes, I couldn't wait.
Thanks to my husband and his great ideas, my laundry situation has been made worlds easier although it required a good bit of manual labor from all six of us.

The girls finally have a complete fall and winter wardrobe with matching scarves and sparkly vests and furry boots.
The boys still need new shoes.
The boys are doing so well with their guitar lessons and have begun playing Christmas music. I'm loving What Child Is This.
Items have been gathered for another Goodwill donation.
My girls are having a surge of desire to make things by hand. I'm sure this will make Christmas awesome this year.
A night spent with a neighbor friend made the girls super happy.
Soups were on the menu more than not.
I loved it when Claire and I wrapped ourselves up in my bed early the other night and we talked...about everything. She's growing up so much and she's so incredibly sweet and most of all she's still my baby.
Claire lost her other front tooth this week, that means she's in need of two, just in time for Christmas, right?
Emma is doing about a thousand cartwheels a day and insisting that I watch at least half. She's a little obsessed with them right now. :)
A neighbor's birthday was the perfect time to get us all together for dinner, a little bonfire, and of course dessert.
I acquired a new-to-me baker's rack over the weekend and it looks so great in its new location. I'm excited to have it!
One of my teeth has begun to be a tad too sensitive over the weekend, so I'm thinking that a call into my dentist is necessary.

*****

The photos in this post are film, Kodak Portra 400NC.

Gratitude : 13

2011-11-13T18:10:00.001-06:00

November 13:

Scrawled out in my best teenage hand, I am so thankful to find this little collection tucked away in my hope chest from many years ago.

****

I was certain that these little poems and writings had met the same fate as many other journals and writings of mine had met over the early years of my life. I had a thing for destroying most every page I'd write out of worry for what someone would think of me. How I wish I'd have kept them all. I'm so glad that, somehow, I held onto these...

Gratitude : 12

2011-11-12T21:00:00.001-06:00

November 12 :

Today was a good day, ending with a clean house, finished laundry, potato soup, Saturday night football, and cake.

A post about food...and a salad idea

2011-11-12T08:52:00.000-06:00

Salad made with kale is delicious as I have found out. I had never thought of it until I saw it here, but knew that since I love kale, I had to try it.

You basically want to thinly slice the kale and rinse it. You may even want to massage it a bit and then let it rest a while as some say that process causes any bitterness to work its way out. {I never found it bitter, so it goes straight from being chopped to my bowl.}

I love onions and mushrooms and put them in almost everything I eat. I sometimes even eat them all by themselves, sauteed as a main dish for lunch. Since I've given up 99% of my meat intake over the last several months, mushrooms are even more important to me as an addition to my food since they have a great meaty texture and quality.

I lightly sautee them in olive oil, but sometimes I cook the mushrooms alone over a higher heat until they crisp up and they are really delicious that way! While my mushrooms and onions are cooking, I dress my kale with just the tiniest drizzle of olive oil (since there will be oil on the veggies) a healthy sprinkling of balsamic vinegar and some sea salt and black pepper.

As the veggies come to a finish, I put a nice little serving of Parmesan shreds right in the middle of the salad then quickly transfer the hot veggies on top.

I always give it a minute to warm the salad up and hopefully slightly melt the Parmesan before digging in. I almost always have a slice of toasted Genesis 1:29 Bread with a pat of butter along with my salad. If you haven't tried this bread yet, you're definitely in for a real treat. It's delicious and is one daily luxury for me that I can't imagine doing without since I don't have any processed carbs like sugar or flour or white rice...you know that drill, I'm sure. It is made entirely of sprouted whole grains and nutritious seeds with absolutely no sugars or white flour. {The same company even makes sprouted grain cereals that I love and eat almost every day. It is super filling and a little goes a long way.}

I eat a salad like this most days for lunch. The salad itself is so satisfying and doesn't leave you feeling hungry just an hour or so later like regular lettuce can. This salad sticks around all day and I love it for that. Lately my kale obsession has had to turn into a Romaine lettuce obsession since my garden is full of it! I really need to find a few hands to share it all with. I'm afraid I can't eat that much of it!

**********

On other food-related issues, I've finally reached the twenty-five pound mark with my weight loss. These last five pounds since my last weight loss update were super-hard to come by! I came to a complete weight loss stand-still for a week, then needed a little medical procedure done last week, which I'm certain made me retain about four extra pounds for a few days. Finally over the last three days, my weight has leveled, then begun to go down again. That is a relief to me since I was sure that something terrible was going on or that there was some mean joke being played out at my expense....especially with my painful avoidance of all the Halloween junk food lying around the house! When I see those numbers go down, I know that I'm finally on the right track to being the me I want to be.

I'm still waiting on a foot injury to completely heal so that I can get back to some fitness walking and aerobics, so I am at a point where stretching and yoga is the only option. I've never tried yoga before, but am very curious about the weight-loss yoga program from my cable provider. It sounds promising and I intend on giving it a try this weekend.

In other weight loss related issues that will make this post completely authentic, a truth about it all needs to be said. It is hard. Some days are easy enough to make me wonder what the problem ever was to begin with. Many days are so hard that all I want to do is go and hide myself in a room, under a blanket, and wait for the next day to arrive. It has become such a mental and heartfelt struggle within myself. When I first started this journey to true health, not just weight loss, and letting go of so many of the things that had become habit to me, I knew there would be hard days. When the days are hard, I have to constantly remind myself why I'm doing this, I have to remind myself of my current reality and how I am not happy with it, I have to remind myself that I must take care of me. No matter what it takes, I have to put the same emphasis on my own health that I put on health of my children and husband.

I was thinking about all this last night as I was folding the laundry and thought of just how easy it is to put myself last. In all things. I'll take the leftovers that no one else wants, I'll use the wet towel so others can have a dry one, I'll grab an extra blanket when my hubby wants to hog-up the one on the bed during the middle of the night, I'll let the kids split the last grapefruit even though I've been waiting patiently to have it for the next morning's breakfast, I'm sure you know exactly the day-to-day things I'm referring to here, but sacrificing my health is something else entirely and something that for my own good and that of my family, I absolutely cannot continue to do. My health and the things I eat are equally as important as that of my family. How can I continue to be the nurturer in my family when I can't even nurture myself?

Those are the thoughts that propelled me to make these changes over the past 10 weeks, however hard they are right now. The actions of my past are the ones which I'm desperate to avoid slipping into again and I know that they are what has put me in this position. Reminders of these things, hard as those reminders are, are exactly what will keep me on track. They are exactly what make me human, and what make this post feel authentic to me. These struggles that come with change are very real and need to be stated just as well as the victories along the way. They are an important part of the growth process. They also have a way, when confessed, of making adjustments to negative attitudes that can so easily creep up on me when my focus is off. Getting all this off my mind truly feels like a big exhalation of pressure and expectation and burden. It feels great to just say it.

Now I can continue on with the rest of my day and eat well and take care of myself with a clear mind and an even clearer focus. This day will be a good one...I can feel it.

Happy weekend, friends.

Gratitude : 11

2011-11-11T16:13:00.001-06:00

November 11:

Some of the most loved memories from my childhood are of sleeping in the floor of my parents' room. I hope they have the same fond memories when they grow up.

Also here.

Gratitude : 10

2011-11-10T17:22:00.001-06:00

November 10:

She's crafting all by herself...making a stuffed bear. That makes me happy.

Gratitude : 9

2011-11-09T17:06:00.002-06:00

November 9:

I'm not normally a rainy-weather girl, but today I'm most thankful for these showers.

Gratitude : 8

2011-11-08T17:29:00.001-06:00

November 8:

Today we ditched the formal school work for a little lesson in domestic engineering. Some days require that and I'm so grateful for the privilege of these types of lessons being an option.

Gratitude : 7

2011-11-07T19:30:00.000-06:00

November 7:

Dinner together after a long day apart is exactly what I'm looking forward to.

***
also here.

Gratitude : 6

2011-11-06T16:08:00.000-06:00

November 6:

Today's to-do list was long, but the things marked off are few. On second thought, today really should have been a day of rest.

I'm thankful for the down-time today, even though it means that the pantry is still a jumbled mess and the kitchen still needs vacuuming. There is a time for everything...

Also here.

Gratitude : 5

2011-11-05T16:53:00.001-05:00

November 5:

Although gratitude fills my heart and thoughts, today i had to remind myself of my goals. Some days it's hard.

Gratitude : 4

2011-11-04T17:38:00.000-05:00

November 4:

Today we talked about dreams, said a few what-ifs, then realized that everything we really want is already here. And, we're content with that.

Gratitude : 3

2011-11-03T17:30:00.000-05:00

November 3:

The whole family at home, dinner together around the fire, these are the moments I cherish.

{Today one of my photos was featured on Habit , one of my favorite blogs for beautiful, everyday photography and to read a few words that always seem to go a very long way. Did you know Habit is open for submissions all of November? There is lots of beautiful posting going on in the flickr group this month. Also, you can see the Gratitude Project for November here.}

Gratitude : 2

2011-11-02T18:11:00.000-05:00

November 2

Today I'm grateful for breakfast out, the knowledge of doctors, the gentle spirit of nurses, the love of my mother, the caring of family.

Gratitude : 1

2011-11-01T18:53:00.000-05:00

It is November...the month of thankfulness. I try to be in a constant state of thankfulness all year, however, November, as host to our Thanksgiving holiday and the step into the Christmas season is a perfect time to put into practice the act of thanks.

I'm going to try really hard to be here each day this month with some photos and some words, meditating each day on the things that I've been blessed with. I'll try to keep it simple and lead myself back into habit here in this space.

November 1: I'm thankful for my fall garden. Today was my first little harvest of collards...a perfect entry into November. Turnips are up next!

My favorite photos

2011-10-31T10:38:00.000-05:00

from Halloween evening...

We were on our way up to the neighborhood to trick or treat, just as the sun was setting, in front of a beautiful open field. The light was amazing, but trick or treating was on their minds, so I had to make do with what I could snap while walking. I'm feeling positive that I'll be back in that location soon - hopefully for our holiday photos.

Halloween...in Photos

2011-10-31T06:38:00.000-05:00

****************************

Halloween...one of the kids' favorite holidays filled with dressing up, pumpkin carving, trick or treating, also the annual Halloween party at my parents' house with roasted hot dogs, chili, cookies, candy, cupcakes, and s'mores. There is always plenty of fun and laughter to go around. I hope your Halloween was just as festive!

2011-10-31T05:55:00.000-05:00

Today I wrote.

Not the list-making, searching-for-something to say,
empty kind of writing,
but
the kind that flowed from my mind
faster than my hands could keep up with,
the kind that is an outpouring of soul
and
tears.

It was wonderful
and
just what I've been waiting for,
for such a long time.

More soon.

This Morning...

2011-10-26T08:34:00.000-05:00

This morning is quiet with my coffee in hand and the light slowly coming in from the windows.
This morning I feel really good and will probably take a walk.
This morning the boys are still sleeping soundly and the girls spent the night with my mom.
This morning I was going through some film archives from last spring and found these two that hadn't been shared yet.
They are from a shop of needful things that my mom and I visited. I loved the yellow birds at the top left and that garden bunny, but the best things were the soy candles that smelled like gingerbread. I wish I still had the one I bought.
I thought the sign about the South was cute...{The South: The place where tea is sweet and the accents are sweeter, Summer starts in April, Macaroni and cheese is a vegetable, Front porches are wide and words are long, Pecan pie is a staple, Y'all is the only proper noun, Chicken is fried and biscuits come with gravy, Everything is Darlin' and Someone's heart is always being blessed. :)}

This morning the windows are open and the cool air is invited in.
This morning we have school work to do...admittedly with a late start.
This morning seems to have it's own schedule, flowing along just as it pleases and I'm okay with that.
This morning I should try to replant my kale. A nasty storm ruined my last effort.
This morning I have a letter to write and a journal entry to make.
This morning so far, is good, and I'll take it as a sign of an awesome day ahead.

Happy Wednesday!

Ready

2011-10-23T06:28:00.000-05:00

The past few days were spent getting our firewood ready for this winter. The kids had a great lesson in manual labor and we all felt blessed to be using a log-splitter to do this job rather than having to do it the old fashioned way. I do believe we're finally ready for the cold weather ahead.

Along the way, the girls found ways to play in the woods, putting together a makeshift seesaw, building forts, and climbing branches. I love how they make everything fun when I see it through their eyes. I hope they never lose that ability.

Looking...

2011-10-19T08:47:00.001-05:00

...for signs of fall this morning. This far south we don't have the beautiful, showy display of foliage like those to the north of us do, so we have to look a little more closely to see fall's arrival.

This morning's much cooler temperatures made me actually feel like staying outside for a while to see what I could see. I love the tiny bits of red I found. We don't get so many red, orange, and gold colors. We mostly have a quick shift from green to brown with very little in-between.

However, fall's golden morning light makes even the dead brown leaves look beautiful.

Happy Wednesday!

2011-10-18T09:04:00.000-05:00

This morning:

there's decaf in the pot (yes, I successfully made the switch over the past couple of months!)
the house is still dark
the house is also super-quiet as the kids spent the night with my parents
fog is looming outside my window
big temperature changes are on the way for us by this evening
I picked up my camera first thing this morning
I think I'll keep it around my neck today, for a change
the scale indicated a full twenty pounds are gone
the soft foggy light is the only thing illuminating my keyboard right now
I'm still wearing my pajamas
I'm hearing only the chirping of a bird
I'm feeling hopeful and positive
I'll have a couple of errands to run later this morning
one: guitar lessons for the boys
two: a trip to Fresh Market for some Lacinato Kale
I've been making my salads with that kale lately and it is absolutely the best, most satisfying salad ever. I'll have to post about it soon.
I love how mornings are brand new and full of possibility about the day ahead.

Changes

2011-10-15T07:44:00.003-05:00

Lately there have been changes. Everywhere. The colors of fall are all around, the temperatures are slowly decreasing, the light is incredible. There have been changes in me as well and that is probably why I haven't been around this space very much in recent months.

There have been the usual, ever-dramatic family challenges that can make one's heart and mind seem awfully heavy. There have been some personal challenges, wake-up calls, and issues that needed immediate attention.

There has been another birthday for me. Thirty-seven years and I'm still trying hard to get things figured out. Honestly, though, things are becoming clearer all the time.

So many blog posts have been written although none posted. I'm not sure why...maybe that's part of the changes I've been going through lately; a need to get it out, but not to share every detail. So many thoughts continue to swirl through my head and maybe actually posting a few things will help clear it out, so you may find more words here in the near future.

Changes can be hard, as some have proven to be, but changes are also good. They're also necessary for growth. Growth is always a good thing because it generally means that we're becoming better, improving.

I'm really looking forward to seeing where these changes will lead in the next year, how I'm expecting to grow and find myself ever closer to the me I want to be. I'm feeling very positive about it all right now and stronger than ever.

On the last day of September

2011-10-02T07:53:00.000-05:00

...when the day was beautiful, changing from quite warm and humid to cooler and drier, we spent the day at my parents' camper. We sat in chairs, watched people walking their dogs, fired up the grill and made lunch. Some of the kids were smiling for the camera, some were wishing I'd just put it away.

One of us totally had the right idea. :)

We played with my parents' schnauzers and watched as many other dogs were being walked around the park. Dogs and campers go hand in hand it seems. We really enjoyed the day while the kids played around. I found myself wishing that we also had a camper to spend a week in....oh, and the time off to do it as well! This really is the perfect weather to go camping in and I'm thinking that backyard-tent-camping is what we'll be doing later this week.

Emma took this next series of shots and that pretty much sums up our day out:

her new Converse...she loves these shoes:

the bike:

the boys:

the walk:

September was good. Full of so many good things. I'm looking forward to October and the birthday-busyness it brings our way along with my kids' anticipation of Halloween. Fun times ahead for sure!

Farewell Summer

2011-09-23T18:38:00.001-05:00

Farewell summer....

I'll miss your bright colors
and green leaves
and long days
and bare feet
and bare legs.
I'll miss the tomatoes
from the garden
and the color of the grass
and the sound of kids
in the swimming pool.

Hello autumn.
It is so good to see you again.

I can't wait to enjoy
your cool breezes
and campfires
and backyard tent camping.
I love having morning coffee on the porch
wrapped in a sweater to keep me warm.
I like thinking of the scarves
I'm planning to buy
and even the ones I'm planning to make
and old jeans to pull on again
and comfy socks and shoes
and pumpkins
and apples
and cocoa.

I'm so glad you're finally here.
You're my favorite, you know.

2011-09-14T18:35:00.000-05:00

More than a month has passed since I last made a post here. It's funny how time moves so quickly, never hesitating for even one second. Many blog posts that should have appeared here or at least on paper just remain jumbled in my mind and for some reason I can hardly sort them. Words aren't the only things jumbled these days...thoughts, emotions, and even feelings are tossed around.

I sometimes wonder if my clock is running short on time even though I'm certain that I have the same number of minutes in my day as everyone else. Am I thinking myself short of time....thinking more than doing? I've come to realize a few things lately that would most likely win me the award for World's Best Procrastinator and I'm really sick about it. Am I just at a point in life where I'm finally tired - of the constant run-around, the to-do list that regenerates itself every day without fail, the worries and fears that invade every moment they can, the syndrome known as "rat-on-a-wheel?"

{A really large 20x24 print of one of my photos published by Shutter Sisters, finally framed and hung...I love it.}

I really dislike it when I get stuck in these ruts with my mind feeling blank and my joy needing a jump start every day. Maybe this all translates into symptoms of overwhelm. Maybe a break is what is necessary to clean the slate and to allow all my thoughts and feelings and words to take root again. Just maybe, with the exit of summer by next week's end and the entrance of my favorite season (and cooperative weather), my own season of renewal will begin as well. The ebb and flow of life it is.

I hate that this post has such a down feeling to it so far. I didn't intend on it sounding that way and really intended to do a sort of list-post that has seemingly become my normal over the course of the past months. The list style posts are easy, manageable when you really don't feel like saying much else, or are just going along with the old saying of "if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all..." But no matter how many times I've tried to type out words lately, they have all sounded the same. So I'm giving them their escape here.

I'll be back soon with more uplifting subjects like summer vacation from last month, lots of photos, and hopefully a newly developed roll of film.

edited to add this beautiful poem from Maya Stein, found here.

Believe

Maybe the camera crew is at someone else’s house,
a spotlight haloing over another’s fleshy story.
Maybe the mailman is delivering the good news
to your neighbor, or a different city entirely,
and you come home to a rash of catalogues,
the second notice for a doctor’s bill, a plea
from the do-gooders for whatever you can spare.

Maybe you haven’t cleaned your kitchen floor in weeks,
forgotten to nourish the front garden, spilled too much
coffee in your car, weaving through traffic.
Maybe you are 10 pounds heavier than last year.
Maybe your skin is betraying your age.
Maybe winter is ravaging your heart.

Maybe you are afraid, or lonely, or furious, or wanting out
of every commitment you entered with such vigor and trust.
Maybe you’ve bitten your nails down to the quick,
chosen your meals badly, ignored the advice of those
who know you best. Maybe you are stubborn as a toddler.

Maybe you are clumsy or foolish or hasty or reckless.
Maybe you haven’t read all the books you’re supposed to.
Maybe your handwriting is still illegible after all these years.
Maybe you spent too much on a pair of shoes you didn’t need.
Maybe you left the window open and the rain ruined the cake.
Maybe you’ve destroyed everything you’ve ever wanted to save.
Still.
If anything, believe in your own strange loveliness.

How your body, even as it stumbles, angles for light.
The way you hold a dandelion with such yearning and tenderness,
the whole world stops spinning.

Lately...

2011-08-13T08:13:00.000-05:00

the days have been busy, the calendar is full
all the busyness has made these first two weeks of August pass by in a blur....and that's good.
August is my least favorite month of the year...usually lingering entirely too long with it's heat and general icky feeling.
the boys will start playing their basketball games next week and couldn't be more excited.
the girls are begging for gymnastics lessons, but they're pricey, so I'm hoping that I'll come up with a creative way to entice them to choose The Young Runner's Club instead since it's much more affordable.
public schools will be in session once again next week....private schools have already begun.
we homeschoolers are finally taking our break this month...a little vacation or, stay-cation, rather...but it really doesn't matter how far you go when you're talking about a a few days away at a waterfront house, lots of fishing and biking, and relaxation.

I need to spend some time ordering new math curriculum and getting registered for this upcoming school year
I need to back up my iTunes library, copy some home movies onto dvd, clean out my photoshop files....why are these things SO hard to get in the mood to do?
I need to do some fall cleaning....washing curtains and blinds and windows, cleaning my bedroom carpet, painting the boys' bedroom and hall bathroom....this list could grow very quickly.
I need, I need, I need.....

But....today I'm going to:

make scrapbooks with the girls
read books with them
listen to the boys practice guitar
do something in my art journal
write in my journal
drink coffee
laugh
play
take pictures
load some film in my old Minolta
cook something delicious
wait for my hubby to get home from work...I miss him when he's gone
then we'll all play Phase 10
and laugh some more
and enjoy our time together.

.
.
.

I took a walk....

2011-08-06T17:22:00.000-05:00

...with my camera.
I hate to admit it, but it's the
first time I've taken her out in
a long time.

Since the yard is blooming mushrooms at a
steady pace, I thought that should be
where I begin shooting again.

I've been taking things slow lately, honestly feeling
burned out from so many angles. I've been spending
less time online and taking care of myself more.
I've been enjoying the sunshine and light of summer
while at the same time I'm in no way enjoying the heat.
I've read some books, thumbed through some
magazines, and watched a few good movies.

I forget sometimes how much I love taking photos.
I love the way things look through the lens, the way
the world opens up in front of me, allowing me to see
things from the heart.

I love the way I notice, with my camera in hand,
the details of the little things I normally overlook
as I rush around letting each day slip by with
hardly a passing thought. Some days, weeks,
and months even, can be like that....nearly unnoticed.

I don't like being in that state of not-noticing. I don't like missing the little things
and not trying to capture at least a small moment of each day I've been
given. I'm trying to come at this anew, from a burned out perspective, shooting
the things I love, processing in whichever way suits my mood at the time, be it
digital or film, color, black and white, photoshopped or straight out of the camera.
I just want to do what feels right to me, in the moment, for the love of the image
my mind and heart sees.

Right Now

2011-07-25T16:28:00.000-05:00

My boys began playing basketball last week, getting into their first practices this week.

My boys also turned 13 yesterday! I can hardly believe they're 13 already....it seems like only yesterday that I was chasing their little blonde heads around the playground, maneuvering a double stroller through store aisles, dressing them in all the cute clothes that I wanted....

These days are full of brothers who actually get along, boys who are officially as tall/taller than me, boys who wear a men's size 12 shoe, boys who love their family, boys who have made me so very proud to be their mom. They are everything I ever wished for and so much more. ♥

These last few weeks have been full of me stepping back, into life, with both feet. Mostly without a camera lens at my eye, without a constant need to "capture." Sometimes that whole concept is just overwhelming and when it feels as such the best thing to do is to slow down, step back, and just live. Live every moment in the moment, just let it go.
I'm feeling better lately for many reasons including the slowing down, regaining control over my diet and exercise again, and taking time to just be. To quietly be. (Or as much as possible with a house full of kids...)

The girls have been all talk and silliness lately. So much talk....talk, talk, talk. All about being singers and actresses and dancers, questions about moving to California to be closer to show business, planning on taking dance lessons and possibly singing lessons, gymnastics or acrobatics, wanting something to do so that there's a stage in front of a large audience involved....oh yeah. We're dreaming big around here. :)
Along with all the talk, there's also been a lost front tooth this week, painted toenails, new hair accessories, and a big helping of all things girlie.

In other news, Darrell and I celebrated our 16th anniversary yesterday as well...er, well, we actually celebrated it last week since we share that date with the boys' birthday. The actual day is usually completely given to them and we fit in our little celebration where we can. I can honestly say that these 16 years of marriage have been spent with the best husband I could have ever even dreamed of. He's perfect for me and I'm so glad that he's mine.
In the kitchen, favorites right now are Greek yogurt, blueberries, strawberries, blackberries, crispy brown rice cereal, chicken and salad dressed with salsa. On the radio, Adele, The Decemberists, Death Cab for Cutie, Gillian Welch.... all so good. On the tv...not much, just a couple of good movies like The Black Swan, and Unknown, along with my weekly dose of Dexter.
Right now, in the middle of crazy summer heat and humidity, every afternoon thunderstorms, and the unspoken tropical weather possibilities that I'd rather not acknowledge, I'm trying hard to hurry along the month of August and get right to September. Mmmm...I wish. I do love autumn and by this time of summer each year, it cannot arrive quickly enough. Until then I suppose I'll just daydream about apples and cool breezes, lower humidity, evenings cool enough for camping outside and bonfires, soups and stews, pumpkins and squash, sweaters and warm drinks....sigh ~

Splash!

2011-07-09T18:01:00.000-05:00

This is what things have looked like from my viewpoint lately.
Lots of swimming
and sunning
and fun.

The kids have been swimming constantly
and the girls have made a couple of new friends
over the summer and we've been spending
lots of time together.

Summer always ends up being so busy.
It takes a lot of work to stay in full
summertime mode, keeping
up with all the little ones!

All the lazy mornings and late nights
and sleepovers and swimming will
come to an end soon, so we're trying
to enjoy it while we can, before those
school bells ring next month!

I hope you're having a great summer, too!
(Or winter, Kylie! xoxo)

2011-07-02T14:11:00.001-05:00

I'm wishing lately
that time would stand still
if but for a short time

Or at least slow down a bit.

These summer days are aways
hectic. They've also been sooo
hot and humid, reminding me
exactly why summer is my least
favorite season. They've been
full of school lessons, kids playing,
movie watching, grass cutting,
fort building, s'more making,
iced coffee drinking,
watermelons and swimming.

There are mentions of upcoming
birthday wishes from my boys and an
upcoming anniversary for D and me
and whispers of where we may
wander on our stay-cation...after
regular schools resume, of course.

This Independence Day weekend
holds a couple of invites for us so
we'll pack up the swimsuits and the
ice chest along with a banana pudding
and baked beans. It's sure to be
a good time.

Happy 4th!

Lately

2011-06-25T07:26:00.000-05:00

lately:

hot days
and humidity
kids inside
and outside
doors opening
and closing
new flip flops
and bare feet
snow cones
and coffee
busyness
and naps
late nights
and late mornings

air mattresses
and giggling girls
books devoured
and movies watched
art made
and music played
laundry washed
and line dried
bread baked
and dinner grilled
notes written
and emails read
a full heart
and room to breathe.

2011-06-18T17:30:00.000-05:00

Yesterday I received the sad news that a good blogging/Flickr friend had suddenly and unexpectedly passed away. The news saddened me...absolutely breaking my heart. It brought home the fact that life is indeed too short and every moment matters and every life that touches another has so much more impact than we realize.

It also makes me realize that we should all be more generous with "I love you..." and "You're a great friend..." and "You are important to me..." I wish I could let her know that even though we could never quite arrange a proper meet-up, she was indeed a good friend and an inspiration in so many ways. Because she was. I will miss her dearly.

As I sit here this afternoon, I'll honor her by having a cookie or two....as she always said, "Life is too short, eat cookies." So true, it is. The comfort comes in knowing that she is in peace, in the place of her dreams. Rest in peace, dear Char.

still here

2011-06-09T19:11:00.000-05:00

I'm still here.
Just not so much lately.

Summertime is officially in full-swing
with playing and swimming and heat and sunshine.

We're still doing lessons and reading our books since we don't actually
take an official break in the summer, but the book reading has been fantastic
(I love this book...so exciting!) and the lessons haven't been too bad either.

The girls just had their first sleep-over this week and the boys have
been preoccupied with their new toy (thanks to MawMaw!) and I'm
found most of the time with my head stuck in one of various other books, too.

These photos are from our last outing a couple of weeks ago to a local
resource center for browsing and a picnic. It was a great day...a cool day.
And, as I suspected, it was definitely the last cool day of the spring.

The last two weeks have been none other than hot. I mean h.o.t. Scorching and dry....so insanely dry. The afternoons have just begun to darken, bringing in some almost showers, leaving us holding our breaths every evening...and hoping for just a bit of rain.

*****

on a photography note, these were the film shots from the day I let my dslr batteries die. It was Kodak Portra 400NC and for most of the outdoor shots it was definitely not the best choice, but the inside shots were good. It was, however, the best at the moment since capturing the memories is what it's all about.

;)

Passing Along the Sweetness this Sunday....

2011-05-29T07:14:00.000-05:00

Hope your Sunday is just as sweet. :)

Savings Update

2011-05-27T17:30:00.000-05:00

After deciding last week to make a real effort with saving money on groceries, I began the week by clipping the coupons I had and attempting my hand at the drugstore game. I didn't need a ton of groceries this week since I had quite a few items in my freezer and pantry, but needed just a few things like coffee, cereal, shampoo, soap, etc. I sat down, looked over the three major drugstore ads and found that CVS had way better deals this week. So, I matched my coupons with only the things I needed, taking into account all the things CVS was offering the Extra Care Bucks on this week, making sure I was only buying it if I needed it. Then once all the items I needed were decided upon, I made two lists, one for all the items that were offering the ECBs and one for all the other items that did not. My lists were very detailed so that I wouldn't mess up and end up costing myself money.

I went into the store, bought my list of items offering ECBs then took those items out to the car, clipped my ECBs from my first receipt and went back in. I gathered my other items and paid for them mostly with ECBs and just a little cash. All in all, I got tons of stuff that I needed which included enough haircare products, body wash, and toothpaste to last at least a couple of months or more and most of the food items that I needed for the week - plus the $10 gas card that was on promotion for this week. I paid about $100 for $220 worth of products. I made one other trip to the local grocery store to grab some chicken that was on sale this week and spent just a few more dollars. So, where I'd normally report spending $275-$300 in a week, this week's grand total ended up at $154, happily... with most of my personal care products in a small stockpile!

Next week I'll need to actually go into town for my groceries and am preparing to stack my Target coupons with matching manufacturer's coupons to get the best deals there and, without a doubt, check in with the local drugstores, too. Along with menu planning and coupon clipping, I'm still making as much homemade food as possible. I'm still making bread and the garden is finally producing enough food so that probably half of what we eat for dinner each night comes from our own back yard.

I'm curious to see what my total savings will end up being in about three months. I'm also curious about online places to get coupons or other money saving ideas. I'm not sure about paying for coupons through websites....that just seems weird to me. I'd love any input you have about which sites you visit if you happen to play the coupon game. :)

flowers and a day out

2011-05-26T18:15:00.001-05:00

These last few days have been busy doing school work with the kids, starting a new book with the boys, and doing lots and lots of art work because I'm just craving it...every ounce. I've gone over just a few of the photos I took last week when we went to a cut-flower farm. There were lots of beautiful, long stemmed flowers just waiting to be bundled up for market. I loved these blue ones...such a pretty color.

On that same day we also ended up at a local resource center, visiting their museum and having a good long walk and a picnic. It was the very last "cool" day we expect to have this year. It was beautiful.

I'm loving the girls' new summer hairstyles...so easily managed and so stinkin' cute.

After we left the car out in the parking lot and got inside the museum, I realized that I had not charged my battery on my dslr....so, most of the day was shot with my old Minolta XG-1 film camera, using Kodak NC400 film. The shots inside the building were great, the ones I had to take outside weren't the best
since that particular speed was a bit too much for the sunny conditions. I'm still sorting the photos from that day, so there will be more to come as I get time to get them uploaded. There are still some really pretty flower farm shots and some cute kids-climbing-the-trees shots, too. :)

learning to accept

2011-05-24T17:49:00.000-05:00

...the shape

...the size

...the imperfections

...the girl in the mirror.
I'm trying to learn to love
all the parts of her,
leaving all the imperfect
parts in place, trusting
that those are the exact
parts that make her
unique.

And, dare I say...
beautiful.

Chit-Chat

2011-05-22T18:10:00.000-05:00

This week has been both great in creative ways, yet stressful in others. I've learned a few new things about my creative self this week with Creativity Boot Camp and have enjoyed spreading my branches just a bit further and discovering new art forms that I'm really loving at this moment. The kids have benefited from this as well, joining in with me all week long, leaving an art-loved kitchen as proof! I'm so glad that there is one more week to go and can't wait to see what more my eyes will be opened to.

In the stressful portion of this post lies the ever growing prices of food and everyday living that has begun to, honestly, freak me out. I'm feeling forced to make some changes to the ways I shop and the food choices that I'm used to making along with many of the personal products that we have grown to love. With my family of six, the weekly cost has grown to a staggering amount, one that I'm determined to change while reserving as much of the quality as I can. I'm totally ready to learn the ropes of the coupon game while keeping my mind open for other chances to save. I'm not looking to become the new crazy-coupon-lady, but rather a mom determined to save money and still feed her family well.

"Start by doing what is necessary;
then do what is possible;
and suddenly you are doing the impossible."
~Aeschylus

This week I'll begin researching the best ways to save, using only cash money and no debit card, using the coupons I already have and only for the products that I use, and jotting down notes from a couple of different stores including their prices and coupon policies. There's a lot of work involved, but if it pays off right it could become the paying equivalent of a part-time job. :) We'll see how it goes...my hopes are high!

The kids have been swimming for a large majority of their free time this weekend and are so tired and pink and freckled. I'm hoping that they all sleep good tonight. I'm looking forward to the coming week, becoming a better household manager, completing Creativity Boot Camp, and more than anything just spending time with the kids.

I hope your weekend was a great one!

Just now

2011-05-17T07:01:00.001-05:00

...outside my window as I sit at the computer
these hydrangeas are a gorgeous pink filled
with the morning's sunlight and cool, crisp air.

...the kids are just beginning to move around and
I'm hearing showers run and doors gently opening
and closing

...I'm returning from my morning walk. These last
few days I've walked iPod-free, listening only to my
own thoughts and senses, hearing the birds chirp
and the squirrels run away as I get too close.
It has turned a usually void morning chore into a
more beautiful meditative process.

...I'm about to get dressed and start breakfast
for the kids. We should be off to the library today,
a little grocery fill-in, and then to a new
farmer's market that is trying to get started.

...creating is also on my list for today and I'm surprised
with how my own direction last night in my art journal led
me to a perfect place for this morning's prompt over at
Creativity Boot Camp. There are some things in life in
which you're sure of and this creative outlet and the way
I'm including the kids with me is absolutely one of those things.
I feel like, for once, I'm in exactly the right place at
exactly the right time.

Wishing you a Tuesday full of blessings. xo

Feeling Creative

2011-05-16T06:56:00.000-05:00

It has begun.
Two weeks over at
Creativity Boot Camp.
{There's still time to join in!}
Yesterday was a great
first day and I'm excited
to see what the next two weeks
will bring.

On this Sunday...

2011-05-15T06:58:00.000-05:00

on this Sunday I'm

choosing joy
finding happiness
letting the song
sing over me

feeling inspired by

the sunrise in the window
the encouraging words read this morning
the unseasonably cool morning {it feels, and smells, like fall...a treat indeed}
the open windows
a page written in my journal
a plan to make pretty things
a plan to become more than the "now"
a delight in this very moment
a start in the right direction

I hope your Sunday is a beautiful one.

Weekends are for...

2011-05-14T18:36:00.000-05:00

French toast
and maple syrup.

Late cups of coffee.

Reading in spite of
the laundry waiting to
be folded.

Talking to the boys
about being self-confident
and believing that what
you have to say is without
a doubt important, so say
it proudly.

Writing princess stories
with the girls and helping
them to illustrate the books
they're working on.

Letting one of the boys
be in charge of the grill
for tonight's dinner.

Finally enrolling in
Creativity Boot Camp
and feeling excited to
begin tomorrow!

Listening to music
while the kids are
outside playing.

Picking up my camera
just for the fun of it.

Doodling on notebook
paper.

Snuggling on the chair
with the dog.

Watching movies like
Pride and Prejudice.

Watching the sun
set behind the trees,
just a bit later everyday.

Finding time to rest
and focus on the
coming week, getting
things off to a good start.

Revelation

2011-05-13T20:03:00.000-05:00

finding beauty

in the breakdown
of spirit
of burdens
of being off-course
for such a long time.

finding hope

in words
and messages
and symbols
and just knowing,
by faith.

i feel humbled,
i feel that my soul
has just taken a deep breath,
that my burdens have
been lifted and that
my spirit was filled
instantaneously
with revelation.

i am broken
but blessed.

i feel loved.

{not} catching up

2011-05-10T16:26:00.001-05:00

phew.
life really has a way of taking over.
or so it seems.

i've really not been picking up my camera
much these last couple of weeks.
things are still happening, and i'm still
in the moment, but sometimes it just feels
better to Be in the moment instead
of looking at every thing through the lens.
sometimes a break is in order so that
i can refocus on those important things
and breathe in the moment before me.

this week:

airplane show with the kids
baking bread and making tortillas
finding new recipes to try
thinking a lot about healthy food choices
thinking a whole lot about making a healthy food blog
   to share recipes i find, those recipes that i create, some inspiration for myself,
     and my food photography...
clipping a few coupons
letting go of a particular project i started at the new year and feeling totally okay with the decision
reading books for myself and some with the kids
looking for "older-boy" style books for my almost 13 year olds
eating picnic-style with the best neighbors ever...twice
being surprised with a great gift from my neighbors
a lovely, low-key mother's day spent with my mom
the kids giving me the BBC version of Pride and Prejudice - the very best ever
the kids swimming the afternoons away
list-making
music-listening
my girls getting a summertime haircut...a cute little swinging bob.
prayers said for sick family and friends
i even found time to sneak in a monster-migraine yesterday, the worst in years, but on the bright side
     it forced me to catch up on some sleep that i have been lacking in a major way lately, leaving
     me feeling quite good today.

Springtime Breakfasts

2011-05-02T20:04:00.000-05:00

fresh from the garden

rinsed and chopped

tossed in the pan to lightly sautee.
Springtime breakfasts may be
the best of the year.

I hope your week is off
to a great start!

2011-04-29T18:30:00.002-05:00

What's been going on here lately?

My oldest girl turned eight years old last Friday. I can hardly believe that eight years have passed so quickly. I remember perfectly having her and bringing her home, dressing her in little girl things, brushing her full head of black hair and putting in hair bows, looking at the shape of her eyes and falling in love with her sweet face every time I held her and nursed her. I remember that she slept incredibly well, hardly ever waking in the middle of the night to nurse. I remember inhaling the baby scent of her hair and skin, holding it close to my heart, knowing that those moments would pass incredibly fast. I was right. They did pass quickly. Eight years later I'm letting her shift from little-girl things to the things she's more interested in like dance and art and writing, I don't insist on hair bows and dresses and pink anymore {her birthday was totally blue} as I let her decide what she likes best, I still think the shape of her eyes is the most beautiful I've seen, I still hold her quite a bit being sure to take in the scent of her strawberry shampoo, I smile at her more grown-up vocabulary and the way she quietly observes every detail of whatever is going on around her and her laugh and her scented lip gloss and her dance moves. I'm excited to see the changes in her and in our relationship with each other, building trust and love and memories along the way.

I've been enjoying a few books that I've been reading for a couple of months now. I'm reading and studying them and thinking about them very slowly, taking in every word I can which has lead to quite a bit of thinking lately - as always - the type of thinking that precedes actual change.

I'm trying my hand at saying "no" to those things that I don't want to do even when my people-pleasing heart wants to just give in and say okay. It's hard to do. It's also very rewarding at the end of the day to know that things are just as you want them to be, the pressure being turned off.

I've been thinking a lot about letting go lately. Of things, of people who tend to bring me down, of worry...
Sometimes the best thing to do for our futures is to let go of that which has been a negative influence on our past. Let those things be learning experiences, stepping stones to a happier future without looking back in regret.

Nurture, my word for the year, has been on my mind so very much lately, mostly because I can't get the hang of it. I've begun to take it seriously on more than one occasion, but sadly, I've eventually lost all focus and fall back into old habits. I feel that those old habits are insanely hard to break. Right now, detox is the word in the front of my mind. Detoxing using veggie and fruit juices with a few supplements to hopefully grab hold of those addicting things like sugar and carbs and clean them away, leaving me without the incessant cravings, or at least bringing them to a more manageable level. Meditation is another thing that I plan on taking more seriously. I need it. I need the benefits of clearing my mind and bringing myself to center every day. Exercise has already begun to happen everyday. Walking gives me the stress release I need and it makes me feel better almost immediately, so that is a big start. I never would have thought that nurturing myself in a more focused manner would have been so hard to do. It may just be the hardest lesson I ever learn.

Going back to school, oddly enough, has been going round and round in this brain of mine. Should I go back and finish my degree? How much will it cost? How will I find the energy to both do my schooling and home school the kids? Am I just wishful thinking? Am I just needing a life change, a direction in which I'd like for myself to be heading? Oh, questions, questions....and for most I have absolutely no answers.

I've also been thinking a lot about compassion and being empathetic. In my heart I feel so very compassionate. Many times, outwardly, I don't feel that I show as much compassion and empathy as I should. So many times showing compassion and empathy to certain people seems to fuel their own pity-party mentality and the situation, although you feel should improve with lending a hand or a shoulder or an ear, just seems to deteriorate even further. That, in turn, leaves them needing even more of all the compassion and empathy they can gather, only to deteriorate again, to an even further degree. I just wonder sometimes, is it me not being as compassionate as I should or not being empathetic enough, lending an unbiased ear and hearing them fully without offering any "should-haves," forming prejudices in my mind or passing judgment, or is it a general case of "You can't help someone that won't help themselves?" I don't really know. It's a hard call. Maybe it's just a difficult combination of the two.

As you can see, lately I've been in a more pensive mood, thoughtfully going over so many things in my mind, trying to fit all the pieces of this puzzle together. Making a journal entry, of which I've made many over the last few weeks, or typing things out on this keyboard always seems to make things much simpler. It takes the mental chaos out of the equation, leaving just the important facts, only the feelings that matter. Then I'm able to look at these entries and say, "Yes. I understand now. It finally seems to make sense." That, in the end, is all that really matters I think.

xo

And, just because I've listened to it a hundred times lately......One.

around here

2011-04-15T06:58:00.001-05:00

things have been busy. lots of spring cleaning
and outside work being done. lots of little repair/maintenance
work being done on the house before we repaint it in a few weeks.

lots of time spent with the kids,
half of whom have been quite sick
so far this spring, but seem to be
feeling much better the last few days.

a little time spent outside doing nothing
more than eating breakfast and lunch at the
patio table or lounging in my sun chair
soaking up a few rays.

i love the time of year when salads
can be a main meal and you don't feel
empty for something warm. i love the
smell of cucumbers and tomatoes,
of lemon and olive oil.

i love the returning desire to
exercise more and take longer walks
and be outdoors. i love the renewed
energy that spring brings just as
winter has nearly consumed it all.

a few photo inspirations from this week:

the colors and tones in this photo make me really happy.

this is beautiful in its simplicity.

i'd like to be here with a good friend to share a cup and to talk a while.

this blue is absolutely perfect.

i'd like to take a walk here, breathing in the gorgeousness.

waking up with this view would be a beautiful start to the day.

capturing light this way never ceases to amaze me.

One of Those Days

2011-04-07T20:20:00.001-05:00

Today...has been one of those days.
The kind you know that you'll laugh about in the
future, but the kind that is really not quite so funny
while it's unfolding although if you don't laugh
you just might lose your mind. Yep. One of those.

film, Kodak Portra NC400

***

And tonight I'm loving this song.

spring snapshots

2011-04-06T19:45:00.000-05:00

all in lavender.
i wish you could have smelled
the sweet scent of all the
wisteria blooms last week.
incredible
but
so fleeting.

*****

we're still having a bit
of a rough go
around here this week.
one child finally well,
another child sick,
and a super-tired mama and
daddy running on
very little sleep,
but my fingers are crossed
that we'll come out
feeling better than ever
by the weekend.

Catching Up

2011-04-03T16:53:00.000-05:00

this week...or rather, has it been two?
so much going on.

sick kiddos
homemade comfort foods
blankets
ibuprofen
antibiotics. uggh.
movies
books
exhaustion.

i'm ready to move on
from the weird round
of sickness we seem to
be having. we survived
all winter long with not
so much as a cold, but we
seem to be starting spring
off on the wrong foot.

it'll be better soon.
i'm sure of it.

***

on the photo end -
i'm still doing my
project 365 and still
enjoying my film camera.
i mean really, really
enjoying it, so that
i'm not picking up
my digital as much.
{all but the first photo
above are film shots.}

i also added a blog list,
at the bottom of the page,
of a few favorite film
photographers. if you
love film, you should be
sure to check them out.
so much inspiration there.

here's hoping for a much
better, healthier week!

Random Bits

2011-03-23T17:10:00.000-05:00

For the last week I've had a really sick little one,
running temp every afternoon and evening and hanging
onto a nagging cough while another little one is trying
really hard not to be sick with a nagging cough of her own
but thankfully no fever to speak of.

I have two boys that quickly decided they wanted
to learn to play piano. So on YouTube they have
basically taught themselves some seriously
great music. I'm really astounded with the rate
in which they've picked up the songs and also
remembered them.

film: kodak portra nc 400

Today I've been cleaning clutter from our school supplies, sorting
through every crayon, marker, colored pencil, stacks of art papers,
reading books, some curriculum books that I'm ready to part with
and also relocating all the lost rolls of tape and scissors. I'm going
to be so very happy to finish it this afternoon.

The boys and I have started another book to read aloud, Whispering
to Witches, I'm already loving it and would love to go in and speed
read through it, but I'm restraining myself so that we can enjoy it together.
It has a bit of a Harry Potter-ish feel to it.

I've begun reading a couple of personal growth books this week, too:
The Courage to be Yourself and Life is a Verb. I have to say that
they have been incredible so far. Each time I take a break to sneak
in a few pages, the words jump out at me as if they were written just
for me, making me leave them for a while to contemplate just what
the meaning is for me. I love when I read books like these; the promise
of great change dangles from each page and I'm excited to see
where they take me.

film: kodak portra nc 400

The next couple of days will be full of family time
since Darrell will be off of work. However, he and
the boys need to finish building gates for our new fence
and also I've put a raised garden bed on his list. I have
asparagus plants who are dying to get in the ground. :)

Did you know that Kylie and I are back at A Mindful Home?
We are! We took a little break away at the beginning of
the year, but have since returned in the last few weeks.
Come on over and visit us there as we share the dailiness
of our lives from different parts of the world.

{Oh...for anyone who home schools...if you're interested in
any free curriculum, let me know and I can give you a list of
the few things I'm ready to part with and I will get it out to you
if you decide you want it.}

Happy Wednesday!

sunshine and tulips

2011-03-20T16:04:00.000-05:00

On film.
I really love this
Kodak Portra NC 400 film
the color quality is great and
it gives a certain richness that
seemed to be lacking with the
other film I was using.

I love playing with the light
this way, too. Capturing it
simply seems to be what
makes me happiest. It just
makes me wish I had bigger
windows in the house. My
dream home would definitely
be full of large windows. :)

I did a little housekeeping on the
blog here and moved all the linky
stuff to the bottom...just in case
anyone is looking for something
that I was keeping on the sidebar.

I hope your weekend
has been a wonderful one.

morning and afternoon

2011-03-19T18:32:00.000-05:00

morning: film

afternoon: digital

today

2011-03-18T17:13:00.000-05:00

today the sun has shone beautifully
and right now, at 4:35pm, it's 82 degrees
outside, the windows are open and it feels perfect.

today, since darrell was home from work, we decided
to bite the bullet and go mattress shopping. that is
sort of exhausting. especially when i walk in and see
all the "good" mattress sets priced at thousands of dollars.
we tried out a few, putting a few on the list, with my most favorite
being the higher priced, of course. we came back home,
discussed it, and then i sent him back to the store to buy the
the cheapest of the sets we liked. and now that it's here,
i think it will be perfect.

film - kodak portra nc 400

today we picked up steaks for dinner.
that's something we very rarely have and
i always find, that much like seafood, they're
always better when cooked at home. my sweet
potatoes are baking right now and we'll have
salad to finish the meal. and since it's so nice
outside, we may just eat out at the picnic table.

today i finally received the prints from my
last roll of film. i'm pleased with the processing
of this roll although it takes a bit longer with
mail order. i noticed that the large majority
were all taken in the kitchen. i just found it
funny that i like to photograph all our food
and food prepping...maybe i should be writing
a food blog, lol! however, maybe i'll find
myself outside a bit more now that it's spring
and everything seems so much brighter. i think
i'll go grab my cameras and head outside
to finish dinner.

happy friday night all.

helping.

2011-03-14T17:36:00.000-05:00

A whole week. gone.
It's amazing how fast the days go by.
By the time I was ready to make another
post a few days ago, the news of the quake
in Japan was making headlines all over the internet
and I started to read and watch and hear
about all the devastation that was occuring.

Anyone who knows me personally knows that I do not
watch news programs...or even my own local news broadcasts.
Newscasts have always put a somewhat crippling burden
on my mind and heart. I always seem to keep those bad
stories and reports really close and I find it hard to let go.
That, in turn, makes me miserable. I honestly can't bear it
most of the time and find myself swimming in a mental
sea of blackness. I gave up watching any of it several years
ago and only tune in when something really important is
going on.

I have to say that this time it was really important.
Heartache is the only way to describe what I've felt for
those beautiful people. I can only say that it is unimaginable
to me, what's going on over there. I can't imagine the mental,
emotional, and physical exhaustion those people are feeling
as they are desperate for basic food and water and as they
are trying desperately to account for their families. I cannot imagine.
I wish I could help...

I can only send my prayers to those people, asking God to
renew their spirits, strengthen their bodies and minds and souls,
and give peace to their hearts.

I did find one way to help today. And a great thing is that you get something
beautiful in return. Erica Ray and friends are offering a choice of 8x12 prints
for an affordable price with all proceeds from this sale being given to the
International Committee of the Red Cross (ICRC).

Do yourself a favor and check it out...the prints are beautiful.

Over the last several days I've been doing a lot of quiet thinking about the situation
in Japan, trying hard to understand. Although I fully realize it's not my burden
to understand it, but rather my burden to offer my help, support, and prayers
for those people in the best way I can. That is really all that matters, taking
care of each other, showing kindness and compassion, and loving deeply.

a little about today's photo here.

Today, I took a break from our regular school-day routine and decided to go out
in the sunshine, work in the yard, take some photos, read a little, have lunch at
the picnic table, listen to some music, all while being as mindful as I could be about
all the daily luxuries that I take for granted, the moments to fill my spirit, the moments
of quietness that I steal, the security I feel in my family and home, the deep love that
I feel for those close to my heart and even for so many that I have never even met,
and most of all for those four healthy souls that I've been entrusted with. Today,
I'm mindful of my many blessings in the midst of so many horrible things going on
in this world, making sure not to take even one second for granted.

Walk With Me

2011-03-08T20:55:00.000-06:00

Okay, so today we did something we never, ever do.
We went downtown for Mardi Gras day parades!
I'm not a big fan of all these festivities, but we did
have a decent time today.

I thought I'd share some of my photos of the day....

If you want to take a little Walk With Me, you can see all the photos from the day, or you can click here and open the slide show in a new window.

"Picnik Show"

Create a free slideshow with Picnik!

Now, to end with my most favorite moment of the day....Emma watching the parade while holding her daddy's hand. ♥

mindful today

2011-03-07T17:32:00.000-06:00

Today I tried to stay mindful of the little things around me.
Things like:

the quiet of daybreak

the early morning sunlight breaking in through the windows

the puppy letting me know that he's awake and ready to go out

the kids' alarm clocks buzzing followed by the sound of opening doors and shuffling feet

the quiet moments after they wake, sitting on the couch, awaiting a turn in the shower

the hour i took away this morning to talk to my mom on the phone and finally finish my roll of film. it's now on its way to the lab and i can't wait to see what is revealed in a couple of days.

the smell of breakfast in the house

the sound of school book pages being turned and the occasional questions

the sound of the boys taking turns reading aloud a book that they thought they wouldn't like, then hearing them comment about how great the book is turning out to be

the midday phone call from darrell to talk a few minutes about how our mornings have been...i look forward to it each time

the sound of guitars being played in the afternoons

the girls playing dress-up

eating apples for snack...these last ones have been so good

counting my glasses of water, making sure to drink plenty

preparing dinner in peace while the kids are outside playing...again

hearing the boys feed the dogs and take them for their evening walks

anticipating darrell coming home from work and feeling excited that is off again tomorrow

Now I'm looking forward to a good quiet evening....browsing around for a new book to read. The last two on my list have fallen flat. I'm beginning to realize why I like thriller/horror novels. :)